This is from a weekly newsletter I get (www.roadbikerider.com). Those of you who have had to tolerate my bike-related ramblings may appreciate this. Then again, it's probably only funny to us bike geeks...

SCOTT'S SPIN: Smart Mouth

Went to dinner with some cycling buddies the other weekend. Spouses were invited. None came.

"You guys are just going to talk bikes," said one weary life partner. "I'd rather get a root canal. With a rusty drill. In a sewer."

Oh, no -- proof positive that I've become a bike geek, incapable of engaging in normal conversation without using words like rotating weight, ceramic bearings or kilojoules.

Don't let this happen to you. Using my handy guide to dialogue for roadies, you too can learn to chat with humans about current events, culture, philosophy and other non-cycling trivia.

Heed these do's and don'ts and your next cocktail-party appearance will be a smash.

Topic: Foreign Affairs
What to Say: Anyone who thinks multilateral talks can solve the simmering tensions along the Serbian frontier need only look to the failed diplomacy on display during the Prussian renaissance of the late 19th century, don't you agree?
What Not to Say: So, Campy or Shimano?

Topic: Economics
What to Say: If you ask me, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act will sound the death knell for sheltered debentures unless fourth-quarter revenues turn this bear market around and housing starts cease declining in the face of Third World micro-lending policies.
What Not to Say: My bicycle cost four thousand bucks.

Topic: Politics
What to Say: As everyone knows, this front-loaded primary system makes a travesty of our so-called democracy by placing inordinate power in the clammy hands of activist voters in a few small, unrepresentative states where the price of hog bellies is more important than the cost of freedom.
What Not to Say: I wouldn't vote for Obama even if he rode a bike. Dude's a smoker.

Saw this posted somewhere and thought it was cute. Not all of them apply to me, but plenty of them do.

You know you're a triathlete when:

• You have a lifetime supply of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts
• You have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories
• You usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but don't get to work until way after 9:00
• You have a $4000 bike strapped on top of your $2000 car
• You're always wet .... sweat, pool, lake, sea water, shower, bath, or rain
• Your car has at least one energy bar wrapper and water bottle on the floor
• You depart in the morning with swim bag, bike, and running shoes in case you can get away at lunch for a workout
• You take triathlon junkets instead of vacations
• Your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein", "carbs" and "etc"
• You bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydrated for the next morning's long run
• Everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don't have a social life outside of triathlon. Oh yeah, and they all showed up by 7pm and left by 10pm.
• You mention a race and somebody responds "running or biking" and you are again forced to explain...
• You wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fast transition from work to swim on your lunch hour
• You name your two new puppies Kona and Hawi
• Your spouse wants dinner out and a movie, so you agree, but fall asleep during the previews
• Somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it over your head
• You feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards
• Cars pass you on the road when you're driving and you either drop back to get out of draft zone or speed up to attack!
• Your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete, VeloNews, USMA Swim, etc
• When asked how old you are, you answer 25-29
• Your training is more limited by available time then how far you can run
• Nobody believes you when you say 'Never again'
• You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.
• You use running T-shirts to clean your bike
• You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off
• You clean your bike more often than your car
• You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do a long brick" on saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about
• You are convinced that if you rest more than one day, your muscles will atrophy, your ultra-fit body will turn into a pile of goo and everyone in your age group will beat you

Happy Birthday to Me! Today is my birthday and I decided to mark it by signing up for something substantial. I sent in my registration forms for Team in Training. I am going to do the Whirlpool Steelhead 70.3 (Half Ironman Distance) Triathlon on August 4th, 2007. This is way farther than I've ever gone, but I want to do something big. My goal is to just finish the distance. It's scary to think about covering 70.3 miles, but with the support of the coaches, teammates, mentors, and the motivation of knowing I am raising money for a good cause, I'm sure I can do it. For anybody not sure, Team in Training (TNT) is the world's largest endurance sports training program. I will be doing some fundraising in the next few months, which will include putting together a website specifically for that purpose. 75% of everything I raise will go directly to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I will be documenting my experience of training, fundraising, etc on this blog and will provide links to my TNT website as soon as I get it up and running (no pun intended har har).

Went for a run this morning. Just for 30 minutes, and went slower than I would've liked, but since I've been slacking, it was probably about right. I decided that I would just feel like crap if I didn't get my butt up out of bed and at least do something this morning. I do feel better for following through on it. I feel like I'm really far behind, and have kind of been moping about that. I also tend to get blue around my birthday (which is today, ugh). I had to shift my mindset and instead of sulking about being behind, which was only putting me further behind and in worse shape, I needed to just snap out of it and do something. Something is better than nothing, even if that something is less than where I want to be right now. Just keep making forward progress. I need to think hard about my goals for the year. I fear I may be trying to bite off more than I can chew, but at the same time, I really want to push my limits and do something big. I got some information about the local Team in Training chapter, and it sounds really great. I just need to make sure it is what I want to do.

Had a bad run on Saturday. I know it was primarily because I hadn't eaten enough, but it was cold and I got discouraged and just couldn't keep going. I need to keep at things, though, and remind myself that there will be bad workout days and better workout days and good workout days.

I feel like I'm behind somehow, too, which isn't helping. I feel like I should be a stronger runner than I am yet, and able to go farther than I can at the present time. I am getting worried about being ready for the Riverbank Run in May.

I've also been slacking on the bike workouts. I have another time trial in 2 weeks, and need to get ready for that. It's extra hard this week with a house guest. I don't want to be vanishing and working out when I know my friend is sitting around without me.

Overall, I think my training plan is overly ambitious and I need to scale it back a bit. I also need to get my butt up outta bed in the morning and get to the gym. That way, half my workout is over before I even start my day, and trying to fit everything in won't seem so overwhelming. Now I just need to make it so I don't hit snooze at 4:45 am. Just gotta remind myself how much I want to succeed at this whole race thing this year and not think about how sleepy I am. I'm usually just being more lazy than sleepy anyhow.

I've finally put some more detail down on my training plan. I'm sure I'll be adjusting it, but I'm going to build my endurance base over the next several weeks. I was feeling really crappy this week and discouraged about some things in my personal life, and I'm trying to get out of the funk by focusing on training. We'll see how it works, but I'm quite motivated currently. I figure it is something I can put my attention into and hopefully distract me from some unhappy things. Those things are out of my control, which is frustrating and hard to deal with, but working out is completely mine. I set goals for the remainder of the week for my training, and will do everything I can to meet them. It will be a challenge, though, since my mood and energy have been lacking as of late, but reminding myself what I'm shooting for and that it is a good place to put my energy should help.

I got a mailing from Team In Training over the weekend and am going to attend one of their informational meetings in a couple weeks. It seems like a good and popular program, and would probably be a great way to have social support and great motivation for training and racing.

Had my first race of the year yesterday, the New Year's Day 5K Fun Run/Walk in Lincoln Park in Chicago. I've been slacking on my running so it was a good way to kick off the new year. Don't have my official time yet, but it was slooooow. Partly because the paths were narrow and it was a big pack, partly because I was tired from being up late the night before, but mostly because I'm slow.

After the race, my friend and I wandered over to North Avenue Beach where we joined the Polar Bear Club for a quick dip in Lake Michigan. Yes, it was cold, especially since the wind really seemed to pick up as we were walking over there. After getting out of the water, my legs were numb and my feet were shaking as I tried to get dressed. Fortunately the weather was quite mild compared to what January in Chicago can be.

Going to sit down tonight and plan out specific workouts for the next four or so weeks. I've been putting it off and been busy, but it's got to get done now.

Well here's my blog for tracking my progress as I train for triathlons and other races (running, cycling, etc.). I'm hoping it will keep me accountable and provide a place for me to be able to diary my experiences. I'll be forced to put my goals down in writing, which should make me more likely to stick to it!

As a bit of background, I decided I wanted to try triathlon last summer, so I signed up for a sprint distance event in the area. I had never liked running, especially running for the sake of running, and had never run over a mile straight. Biking seemed pretty straightforward, so I wasn't too concerned about that, and I had done a little swimming when playing water polo in high school, so I wasn't terrified of that. I trained for 5 or so weeks, and met all my goals for the race. The run portion scared me to death, so I ended up going too easy on the bike leg, but I'll get better and better at pacing myself over time. Overall, I had a blast and am determined to improve my speed and endurance, participating more triathlons in 2007, including some longer distance ones.

I've let myself fall a bit out of shape in the last few months, but I joined a gym and am excited to be getting back into it. I need to build a solid aerobic base (which I'm awful at - I always go too hard and too fast), and work on improving my technique and efficiency in all three sports. Those are what I'm focusing on at this point. The main thing is for me to pace myself and build slowly and steadily.